More Information About Wilderness Programs, Therapy, and Troubled Teens

Someone I Care About Is an Alcoholic: What Can I Do to Help?

By Stefanie Hamilton

If you are concerned about a friend or family member who is either abusing alcohol or dependent on alcohol, there are several things you can do to help.

First, gather as much information as you can about alcoholism, alcohol abuse, and treatment options. Talk to your friend or family member only when you have some good, practical information.

Timing is everything, so hold off on talking to your friend or family member until shortly after an alcohol-related problem has occurred. This will help put things into perspective and provide a very real, undeniable example of the negative effect alcohol is having on the person's life. Be sure to wait until the person is sober and calm. Don't approach him or her immediately after a fight, the loss of a job, or any other serious life event. Give him or her enough time to settle down, as the two of you will then be able to talk more rationally.

Before you confront the person, take time to think through what you want to say. Consider writing out some notes to take with you. Think about specific examples of how drinking has affected the person's life, the steps he needs to take toward getting help, and what the consequences will be if he refuses.

One thing that needs to stop immediately is the "cover ups" - the excuses people often make for someone who misses work or fails in other obligations because of her drinking. This can be a hard move for friends and family members to make. It means that someone you love will have to face all the negative consequences brought on by their drinking, and it's painful to watch. But that's often what it takes for someone to realize they need help.

The conversation itself is likely to be hard, so prepare yourself. Determine ahead of time to be firm and unwavering about your decisions. The person you're confronting needs to know that you're drawing a line in the sand - that you're setting boundaries and expectations that aren't negotiable.

If the person is unwilling to listen, or admit he has a problem, ask another friend or family member to have a similar conversation. Often, more than one confrontation is necessary before an alcoholic or alcohol abuser will get help.

If two or more individual conversations don't yield results, you may need to gather a group that will confront the person together. This should be a last resort, however, as this approach can make a person feel like she is being ganged up on. Seek the help of a health care professional or addiction treatment program that has experience with group interventions.

Wilderness therapy programs that specialize in treating teens and young adults with substance abuse problems have proven highly effective for individuals who abuse or are dependent on alcohol or other drugs. Nature can be an intensely therapeutic place for young people to get quiet, think about past decisions and future plans, and get honest about their substance abuse.

Many popular wilderness programs combine wilderness expeditions with intensive therapy, 12 Step work, ancient rites of passage, and substance abuse education. In a serene yet humbling environment, teens and young adults learn the importance of personal accountability, teamwork, service, and spirituality, and take their first steps toward lasting sobriety.

Alcohol abuse and alcoholism can tear friends and family apart. It's important that everyone remember that you're fighting against the disease of alcoholism; you're neither fighting against each other nor against the person who is abusing alcohol. The disease itself is the only real enemy.

Four Circles Recovery Center is an innovative wilderness-based treatment program for young adults ages 18-28 who are struggling with addiction, substance abuse, and co-occurring emotional or behavioral issues. Learn more about Wilderness Rehab for Drug and Alcohol Addiction Treatment.

 

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